He had a lot of nothing to say, we'll miss him.

Well.

I'm reading a pirated copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Realizing that I needed to buy text books and cat food and human food before I could budget in the new HP book, I decided to go the cheap route--FOR NOW. I always buy what I pirate--this will be no exception.

Anyway, the copy I have has wordsrunningtogetherlikethis, which is really annoying when you have to pause, stop, and re-read what you just read because you're not sure if you got the words right. Not all the sentences are like that, but a great many are. Still, I'm about seventy pages in and I was reading for about an hour last night. I would have read longer but I'm sitting in a rather uncomfortable wooden chair for my office chair. Still, I kind of like having the book more at eye level then it usually is.

But I will be abstaining from reading most blogs for fear of spoilers. I've heard nothing about the book so far--but I've also been readily avoiding television, radio, and internet programs that might let things slip. I never did like spoilers.

Just as a little mini rant--my sister has not bothered to read the Harry Potter books. OK, she's read to book four, but only part way through. My sister is getting sucked into the wonders of the internet (Neopets, GaiaOnline, MySpace, YouTube) and thusly is neglecting her literary interests. She says, "They're boooring." To which I gape at her and say, "Are you really my sister?"

Three, four years ago she was showing every inclination of being a book worm. Now she's becoming like every other twelve year old girl with a high speed internet connection--and yes, I blame the high speed internet connection.

When my sister comes over to stay at my place, I ban her from using the internet--simply because she'll only use the aforementioned sites, and that they will crash my poor slow dial-up connection. She's not allowed to read the manga's, because that is all she reads at home. I tell her, "Read BOOKS. Actual books. Then get back to me."

When I was her age I was starting to get into Anne Rice (I know, I know, but I was TWELVE) and Garth Nix and some Neil Gaiman. I started to read some of the classic literary pieces, starting with War & Peace (because it was the biggest book in our library and I loved carrying it around), then moving onto some of the darker horror classics like Frankenstein, Dracula, The Portrait of Dorian Gray, etc. I still read books geared at young adults, but most of them had to do with the same dark, macabre stories like I just mentioned. They were also the older young adult books.

I enjoyed this time in my life. From about eleven to seventeen I was reading as much as I could lay my hands on. I knew, intuitively, that I would not have as much time for reading when I got out into the real world and, guess what? I don't. It really sucks.

I hate to see my sister squander this time she has that she could be reading piles upon piles of novels, short stories, plays and poems. Not only squander it--but squander it chatting for God's sake. Playing games for fake gold. That's something I got into when I was sixteen and I realized what an absolute waste of time it was before my seventeenth birthday. I still play some of the games on Neopets--but only because they're fun to play. Ultimate Bullseye rocks!

Anyway...

I'm worried about my sister. She shows no inclination towards, well, anything. Not art, reading, science, math, nursing, anything. She has a variety of health issues she will have to deal with on her own, with her own finances, when she is older. She needs to find her passion so she can actually work doing something that she loves to do. The only thing that she has said she enjoys is animals, but she has shown that she only likes the loving side of animals, so she would not be cut out to be a vet--at least not yet.

My sister has been whining lately that no one is paying attention to her and, you know, I'm quite tired of it. I'm her sister, I've let her know, and not her mother or her father. I'm the bully big sister that's going to make sure she eats her proper amount of calories and that she exercises and reads and has in depth conversation on various topics. I'm appalled with how much her mother and that family spoil her; and I know she's young, but damn it. So was I. I had gone through just as much in emotional pain as my sister has in physical pain. I was not spoiled, I was pushed. I want to push her to do something.

Interesting how this topic changed from books to my sister. I cannot help it, though, she's one of my passions. I'm severely interested in this little blondlings ambition and life determination.

I've noticed that the Middle Class families around here--California, Silicon Valley--seem to have produced a singular type of person. A teenager/young adult that does not have any ambition, seeks only for the momentary fulfillment, and will never try, unless pressed beyond belief, to put in anything other then half-assed work. My friend James is almost twenty-two and still living with his parents. Not just that, but he's had a free ride--why did he not go to college? Does he expect to live off his parents in their house his entire life?

I suppose situations like mine, and similar if less extreme, produce that type of people that will actually go out and get things done. But those who have lived a pampered life seem to strive to nothing but the same thing--an easy coast through life.

What fun is that?

Struggle and pain and loss is what makes all the shiny things extra shiny.

Maggio il vostro amore di luce non penetrare l'oscurità della notte,

-Lady Teigra-